


Couple of Cats

by JestaAriadne (still_intrepid)



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: F/M, First Meetings, Friendship/Love, origins story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-01
Updated: 2002-12-01
Packaged: 2019-05-21 00:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14905073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_intrepid/pseuds/JestaAriadne
Summary: It's a simple story, really, and one that's been told many times.  But here they are: Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer, alive and well after all everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first long CATS fic, written back in 2001-2. These two were always my faves, and here's a classic story of their meeting and coming to the junkyard.
> 
> I apologise if the written-out accents grate on people's nerves... it was just what we used to do!

The kitten's name was Mungojerrie. He was very proud of his name; that and his life was all his parents had ever been able to give him. Their lives had been ended by- who knew? A car taking the bend too fast, or a lorry driver just not looking where he was going? He never found out for sure. And his was a life he was not able to keep easily. From two months old he had been alone, and if it wasn't for Macavity he probably would have died very shortly after his parents. The irony was, of course, that Macavity, having so _kindly_ taken him in and saved his life, was in a position to very easily take that life away - at any time - should he so choose.

The kitten, although still less than eight months old, was fully aware of his situation. It was something he tried not to worry about; there was nothing to be gained through worrying, but behind his normally fairly optimistic appearance, he _was_ worried. He did know that most cats, especially kittens his age, were not forced to run errands for, do chores for, steal for the Napoleon of Crime. And _that_ was certainly an apt name. Mungojerrie didn't know anything about Napoleon, but reasoned he must have been pretty powerful, judging by his namesake. You couldn't disobey Macavity. You _could not_. Mungojerrie had seen with his own eyes what had happened to two cats who had once tried. And neither could he escape from the bondage he seemed to have trapped himself in.

Today though, as he walked along the road with a vague intention of bothering some humans for food in the park, he was not unduly worried about anything. This was an exciting new season for him! The days were getting shorter, a varicoloured carpet covered the pavement and it was colder than it had been; the dull, muted cold of early October, heralding the approaching winter. He had made a new and fun discovery - leaves. He kicked them up as he skipped jovially along, enjoying the explosion of colour and the crunching noise. Then-

"Oy! Owch!"

"Wha'? 'Oo's there?" Mungo looked around, confused, for the source of the voice that had just piped up.

"Oi'm daown 'ere!"

He looked down to see her; a small kitten, perhaps a month or so younger than him, lying in the leaves. Her fur was red, orange, yellow, brown, cream, gold - a riot of cheerful brights, like the leaves, like his own fur. She was staring at him with a pair of wide open, completely unconcerned green eyes as if there was nothing at all unusual about napping buried in leaves.

"Well 'ello. 'Ow long 'ave you been lyin' there? Someone could step on ya!"

The young queen giggled, a bright, high little sound, and one that was immediately intoxicating. Mungo felt himself grin.

"Yer the first." she said simply. Then, "Wha's your naime?"

"Mungojerrie."

"Tha's a noice naime. Oi'm Rumpelteaza."

"Hi. You ain't got a collar."

"Neither 'ave you."

"Nah..." He scratched his ear, getting the feeling the conversation was going rather downhill. Then he made it worse. "Where d'you live? 'Oo're yer parents?"

"Ain't got none."

"Oh... Oi'm sorry."

"S'OK," she said, getting to her feet. "Oi'm OK"

"Oi ain't got no parents neither. S'tough, ain't it? When-"

"Did they die? My dad- Oi dunno. 'E just left, Oi suppose, ages ago. My mum- a coupla weeks ago."

So recent. Mungo looked at her for a moment in silent sympathy.

"Loike Oi told ya, Oi'm OK." He was surprised to see she was smiling. And this time her smile was nearer to making him cry. "Oi'm alive, ain't Oi? An' there's sunlight an' moonlight an' lotsa leaves ta plaiy in." A little giggle burst out again and she scooped up a pile of leaves and flung them into the air.

_Yeah, there maiy be lotsa sunlight naow, but it's gettin' colda an' colda. They saiy "winter's" comin' soon, whatevva that is._

"'Ere, Oi know a plaice where-" He stopped, wondering what he was going to say. He knew what he _should_ be saying. Macavity's cats were not encouraged to associate with those outside the Hidden Paw, and if they did it was usual to bring the cat to Macavity. There they would be given the option of joining Macavity, or else- well, _or else,_ thought Mungo. Macavity never exactly needed to spell things out. There was no way that he was seriously going to get this laughing kitten involved with that. Instead he continued: "-where we can 'ave some fun 'assling the 'umans, an' there's food fer the takin' if we're lucky."

"Yeah, OK! Where is it? Oi'll race ya!" Rumpelteazer jumped up and bounced around excitably.

Mungo looked slightly skeptically at the other kitten; she was hardly more than half his size. He did not, however, notice the rather sly smile unfolding on her pointed white face.

"'Ow 'bout to the end o' the road?" he suggested, "See 'ow fast you are."

"Yer on."

She dashed off, covering what looked to be about half the distance in a second flat. When Mungo arrived at the finish ten seconds later, she yawned elaborately and stretched.

"Wasn't - fair," Mungo puffed. "You- 'ad a - 'eadstart!"

For the next few streets, Mungo was given the headstart and lost anyway.

"You wanna give it up now, Mungojerrie?" Rumpelteazer giggled as he panted up behind her.

"OK- but - only cos yer gettin' tired. Oi - let ya win - y'know..."

"Yer impossible!"

They walked through the open iron gates. The park was a kitten's dream world: pigeons to chase, dogs on leads to tease, several humans brave or stupid enough to eat outside, even in such weather... Lots of food.... Hot dog stands, ice cream stands, pigeon food stands, fish and chips in newspaper carelessly chucked in bins, children with lollipops, squashed sandwiches.... And all their's for the taking.

Mungo decided to teach her the basics.

"Righ'" he said. "Jus' watch wha' Oi do. This is 'ow t'get food from picnics..."

He walked nonchalantly to the back of likely looking family seated on a plaid tarpaulin. Easy meat, really. They were all facing the same way. And the hamper behind them was wide open. He fixed his eyes on a packet of chicken sandwiches. Focus.... He began to creep slowly towards it. Slowly, carefully... Focus... making as little noise as possible... Concentrate, focus, and then-

"Heeheeheehee!" That broke his concentration. His eyes slid up over the top of the hamper, to the family, to the family who were still facing forwards, paying all their attention to... Rumpelteazer!

She was sitting comfortably on the tarpaulin, purring and making wide eyes at the human child who was patting her. And feeding her. Mungo's mouth dropped open.

"'Ey!" he yelled, "Tha's not 'ow yer supposed t'do it!"

"It works though, doesn' it?" She giggled again and opened her mouth to recieve more food.

"Well... Oi guess tha's one way of doin' it..." He shrugged, walked over to join her and acted sweet.

* * * * *

Evening shadows stretched across the almost deserted park. Two kittens remained, chasing each other around a monkey puzzle tree, chatoyant coats shining in the dying light. A light giggle pierced the air. Perhaps to human ears it would sound simply like a little purr, to Mungojerrie it was already the sound of happiness and mad jubilee. It had been a very enjoyable day.

"Yer fun, Mungo," said Rumpelteazer, trying to stifle a yawn. Cats often stay up all night, but then, they don't often spend all day awake and active. "Can Oi come and plaiy t'morrow? Where d'you live?"

_Um... Well, actually Oi live in the basement of a deserted 'ouse in some ol' dark alley with a load of daown-an'-outs an' alley cats..._ What was he supposed to say? "Well... 'Ow 'bout we meet up 'ere again?"

"Yeah, OK." She didn't seem to notice anything strange... "Oi'll be goin' back to... my...um...."

His brain had taken a while, but it finally grasped the other problem. "Where _you_ staiyin'?" he asked.

She giggled. "Oi was koinda plannin' on a poile of leaves."

He raised his eyebrows. "'Ave you though' 'bout where yer gonna live when it gets colda?"

"Not really. Well... can Oi stay with you fer the noight?"

_WHERE??_ "Er yeah... OK. We moight as well staiy around 'ere. 'Ow 'bout tha' li'l plaiyground thingy over there?"

"Right." Rumpelteazer shot him a glance which was probably saying something along the lines of "you're a foine one talk abou' good plaices to sleep...this ain't where you normally staiy, is it?"

Or maybe it was just a look, and Mungo's imagination.

* * * * *

They stayed in the playground that night. And the next night. And the next. In fact it was fast becoming their permanent home. By day, they raced each other around the park; Teazer always won, Mungo always insisted he let her win They practiced charming the humans and begging their food from them; although perhaps this was unnatural and degrading for a cat, any qualms Mungo had soon vanished as he saw the vast world of gourmet opened to him

And of course he was trying his hardest to ignore the nagging feeling that Macavity would not be well pleased that he had apparently deserted, and his worries too quickly turned to what might happen when they met again - _IF we meet again._ He hadn't told Rumpelteazer anything about it, and was just hoping he'd never have to.

* * * * *

"'Ey, kit!"

A heavy paw cuffed Mungojerrie on the back of his head and almost knocked him down. He regained his balance and turned reluctantly to face his attacker, feeling his stomach plummetting as he recognized the voice.

"'Ey, 'Gustus," he said with as much cheerfulness as he could muster. _Augustus_. What a name for that hulking, sycophantic bully.

"Wouldn't be smilin' if I was you," Augustus growled, taking another swipe at the younger tom. "The boss wants ter see you. Wants ter know where you been for the past week."

_This was NOT meant to 'appen_ thought Mungojerrie, desperately trying to think of a plausible excuse. "Oi been sick. 's not my fault," he whined.

Augustus guffawed. "Try that one on Macavity and 'e'll skin yer. More like you been busy with that there l'il queen." He jerked his head at Rumpelteazer who was standing motionless a yard or so behind Mungo. "What's yer name then, kitty?"

Mungo stepped protectively in front of Teazer and growled at the other, teeth bared. "Tha's none o' your business."

Augustus knocked Mungo aside. "Can't she speak fer 'erself?"

"Course Oi can!" Teazer yelled, "An' Oi say you moind yer own business cos my naime's my own!"

Both the kittens glared defiantly at Augustus, but he only laughed again.

"Don't keep 'im waiting, kit. Come on."

"Yeah" Mungo murmured vaguely, "Tell 'im Oi'll be there tonight."

"I don't think so. Yer comin' with me now, OK?" , Augustus made to grab at Mungo, but he dodged neatly and spoke urgently to Rumpelteazer.

"Oi'll see you back at - the 'ouse, right?"

Teazer's big green eyes showed confusion for a split second as he prayed she would understand. Then she gave a tiny nod. "Yeah- back at the 'ouse."

Augustus marched Mungo away.

* * * * *

The main room was full of cats and a horrible smell that Mungojerrie had never really gotten used to. Augustus shoved him forward yelling, "Look at this, you lot! Li'l Jerrie's back!"

Raucous laughter greeted his words. Mungo felt sick. "And 'e's even got 'imself a nice li'l scrap of a queen!"

More laughs. He was really not sure how he'd survived months like this. And he felt anger surging up in him. You couldn't "get" Rumpelteazer!

"Why you so quiet, Jerrie? Ain't you got nothing to say to yer old pals?"

"Yeah, tell us about this queen, ey?"

They were all looking at him. They were all smiling broadly. Cats here always smiled. No one here was ever friendly. Behind each apparently innocent remark or question was always a trap or a cruel joke, and a casual insult could turn into violent brawl in no time. _Loife on the edge..._ Mungo thought, _an' they say it's excoitin'. Scary's more loike it- an' 'orrible..._

"We'll 'ave a guess then, shall we? Is she a calico?"

Mungo shook his head.

"Persian?"

"Burmese?"

Everyone laughed again. Angora, siamese, maine coone... It was childish really- just a stupid guessing game, unless you gave the wrong answer. Mungo wasn't intending to say anything at all.

"Is she an 'ouse cat?"

Mungo thought fast and then said: "Yeah. She's an -'ouse cat. Yeah."

"Ey! Jerrie's got an 'ouse cat! Jerrie's got an 'ouse cat!"

Safer they thought that. Another stray would be much more vulnerable. _Croipes vulnerable? Teaza??_ He thought of her laugh, her pretty pointed face, the way she could always beat him in a race and he'd hardly mind- the way she was always up for a mock fight over a scrap of food She was great- and surely she'd be like that forever? Vulnerable? He honestly didn't know.

He was led into a sort of ante room, apparently to wait there until Macavity deemed fit to allow him into his almighty presence... _Teaza... Vulnerable?_ Any more at risk than him? What could two street cats do to defend themselves anyway?

He was almost relieved when someone interuptted his thoughts by shouting, "You! Mungojerrie! Macavity'll see you now."

 

Macavity always gave the impression that every single other living creature in the world was a personal insult to him. The most sophisticated of alley cats, he had somehow managed to preserve an almost aristocratic persona under the tangle of ginger fur. He was seated comfortably on a velvet armchair from which he stared down distastefully at the smaller cat entering the room.

"Good morning, Mungojerrie." There was practically an audible sneer as he pronouced the name.

"G'mornin'..."

"I was getting rather worried about you. I haven't seen you for over a week. Where have you been?"

_Nevva one to beat abou' the bush, is 'e?_ Mungo took a deep breath and said with as much confidence as he could find: "Truth is, Oi've met a queen an' Oi was koinda thinkin' we'd staiy together naow." There was no point at all in lying. There were literally scores of cats willing to get in Macavity's good books by spying on anyone they were asked to.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. Oi'd loike t'saiy Oi'm real graiteful for all you've given me, an 'ome an' food an' all. But Oi don' want ter be any trouble to ya, so Oi think Oi'll move on now." There. He'd said it. He exhaled as quietly as possible and waited for the response.

It was a long time coming. Macavity seemed to be thinking the matter over carefully, nodding to himself and smiling.

"Very good, Mungojerrie." _Wha' is 'is problem with my naime?!?_ "I'd agree that you're perhaps outgrowing kittenhood and if you don't want to stay here, I'll not keep you."

Mungo was trying very hard not to let his amazement show on his face. Was that it? Had he just been released from the Hidden Paw, no questions?

"Erm, thanks, Macavity. Shall Oi go now?"

Macavity seemed to have lost interest in the issue. "Yes, yes. Goodbye."

Mungo was nearly out of the doorway when Macavity stopped him.

"And, Mungojerrie? Report to me once a week from now on."

* * * * *

Well, what had he expected? He kicked irritably at the leaves littering the streets on the way back to the park. _Could 'ave been a lot worse..._ Kick, crunch... _Could 'ave been a lot betta too!_ He walked through the park gates and headed towards the playground.

"Rumpelteaza?" he called.

No response.

He walked around the slide, puzzled. "'Ey, Teaza, where are ya?"

A small head appeared out of a heap of leaves in a corner of the wire fence. "Oh, 's you, Mungo! 'Ey there!"

"What you doing in there?"

She shrugged and giggled. "Erm, nappin'?"

He shook his head. "Yer mad. Come on then, get outta there. Wanna go get some lunch or somethin'?"

"How 'bout you go? Oi'm tired." She gave a huge fake snore.

"You OK?" Mungo asked, frowning.

"Yeah, foine."

"Yer not gonna sit in them leaves all daiy are ya?"

"Um..."

"Teaza what's the matter?" Getting no reply, he ran towards her and started to brush the leaves away.

She tried to push him away, protesting. "No! 'Ey, Mungo! Don't-"

His gasp cut her short. "Yer hurt! Wha' 'appened?"

Teazer twisted away from him, trying to hide the cuts in her shoulder.

"Oi slipped on the-"

"Those are claw marks!" he cried.

"No they're not..."

"Yeah they are!" _Oi should know. Oi've seen enough._ "Wha' 'appened? Tell me! No secrets, Teaz!"

_No secrets!_ He could have kicked himself after that, but that Rumpelteazer did it for him.

"No secrets?" she laughed, "You come back from some mystery cat's 'ouse after being dragged off by some other cat Oi've nevva 'eard of withou' a word of explanaition an' saiy no secrets?"

"Oh Cat, Teaza, Oi'm sorry! Oi shoulda told ya but Oi really didn't want to, Oi wanted to ferget it. Oi'll tell ya now though, OK? No secrets anymore."

She looked at him earnestly. "OK," she said.

"You first."

"OK," she said again. "A bit after you'd gone Oi was gonna go 'ave some food- Oi went out towards tha' 'ot dog plaice by the road- an'- It was that 'Gustus cat again, plus a few maites. They-" she frowned and raised her eyebrows, "Well, we soon got into a bit of a foight- tha' is to saiy Oi ran at 'em shoutin' 'get away you sons of Pollicles!'"

Mungo stared at her and she grinned. "Yeah. An' one of 'em got a lucky swoipe in there somewhere..." She gingerly touched her injured shoulder and Mungo did not miss her tensing in pain for a second. "Oi gave as good as Oi got though- betta actually, there were four o' them! But Oi figured Oi couldn't keep going so Oi ran off 'ere and 'id."

"Oi'm so sorry, Teaz..."

"You don' 'ave to keep saiyin' tha', y'know."

"But it's my fault."

"Nah..." She flicked a couple leaves away, "s'no one's _fault_ exac'ly... But you gotta tell me wha' all tha' was all about, yeah?"

He nodded. "Yeah. OK... 'Ave you evva 'eard of Macavity?"

"'Cept that 'Gustus mentioned 'im, no."

How to explain... "'E's- not a noice cat. In fact 'e's a real nasty cat. But 'e let me staiy in 'is 'ouse after my parents died-"

" _'Is_ 'ouse?" she interuptted.

"'Is very own. Oi think there used to be some 'umans there, but they left an' now it's koinda loike 'is base. A boss needs 'is 'eadquarters. 'E's loike the leader of loadsa straiys. An 'e said Oi could staiy there and staiy aloive on the condition Oi worked for 'im too- stealin' stuff and the loike."

"Wha' stuff?"

"Well, mostly there's all them jewels and sparkly things 'e wants."

"Whoi does 'e want shoiny things?"

Mungo frowned. "Dunno really. Saime reason 'umans want 'em, Oi guess."

"Wha'evva tha' is..." Teazer giggled. "Oi loike shoiny things too," she announced. "They're pretty."

That fantastic smile. She was grinning so happily at the simple thought of shiny pretty things. He wanted to hug her. "Pretty loike you," he muttered.

"Wha'?"

Mungo could feel heat rushing to his face. "Oi just said- loike you. Oi think yer pretty too."

She stared at him in surprise for a moment. "'Ey, thanks Mungo! Tha's real noice of ya." Grinning, if possible, more broadly still.

"Well, 'ow abou' tha' food naow?" Mungo asked, helping her gently to her feet. "You OK with tha' shoulder there?"

"Yeah, s'not too bad really."

"Yer brave," he said, almost challenging.

"Oi try t'be," she countered.

"You can tell me if it 'urts or anything, yeah? No secrets?"

"Sure. But Oi'm OK naow. Really."

* * * * *

"Slim pickin's laitely, Oi've noticed." Mungojerrie carefully cut a half eaten bread roll with a claw and gave half of it to Rumpelteazer.

"Thanks," she said as she stuffed it into her mouth. "Know-mph-whayameann-m-its-ump-been-"

" _What_?"

She swallowed and repeated with particular attention to annunciation. "Know whatt eyou meean."

Mungo laughed and took another mouthful. "'Ardly any 'umans out on picnics naow... an' closin' all them food stalls. Gettin' colda aswell," he mused.

"Winter," said Teazer, knowledgably.

They glanced at each other with raised eyebrows.

"Wha'evva tha' is."

* * * * *

"Teaza..." began Mungo hestitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Y'know Oi told ya 'bout Macavity?"

"Y'mean the nasty idiot 'oo's obsessed with shoiny things and loikes pickin' on li'l kits? Tha' Macavity?"

Mungo couldn't help smiling. "Tha' Macavity. 'E wants me to go an' nick some- shoiny things-"

"Predictable, ain't 'e?" Rumpelteazer interjected.

"Yeah... 'e wants me to nick some more for 'im. An' Oi thought Oi'd better go tonoight..."

She nodded aimiably. "OK. Can Oi come too?"

He was very much taken aback. "Wha'?"

She repeated the question clearly. "Can Oi come too?"

"But it's got nothin' to do with you- an' it'll be dangerous."

"Oi'd saiy it's got quoite a lot to do with me ac'shly. Can't 'ave you jus' disappearing every coupla weeks. An' if it's dangerous, Oi'd think you could use some 'elp."

"Well..."

"Besoides," she added, hopefully, "sounds loike fun."

They arrived outside the huge Victorian mansion just after midnight. Mungo looked around the empty street warily, from habit more than anything else- after all, what human in their right mind would seriously suspect a couple of cats of the hundred pound jewel robbery that was about to take place?

"This the plaice, Mungo?"

"Guess so. Oi mean, 'ow many other millionaire style 'ouses d'ya see around 'ere?"

He gave it a professional inspection- carefully avoiding going anywhere near the Pollicle's kennel. Annoyingly, but hardly surprising in November, no windows had been left open. There was a external stair to the cellar, though, and the door was only bolted from the outside. Once in, they headed up the stairs and then to the large dining room.

"'E said they should be in a cupboard in 'ere somewhere," Mungo whispered.

"'Ow does 'e know?"

"Dunno. Spies, Oi guess. Got 'em everywhere."

The cupboard in question was not exactly hard to locate. It had a glass front and the three heavily jeweled necklaces were ostentatiously displayed on stands, sparkling even in the dim moonlight shining through the window.

"Wow..." Rumpelteazer breathed as she leapt lightly from Mungojerrie's shoulders to open the door, "Would ya look at tha'!"

She looped them around her neck and jumped down to the floor again.

"Thanks, Teaz," said Mungo, "Yer right; s'lot easier with someone else 'elpin'."

"No problem," she said cheerily, "Jus' get these loaded up into them bags..."

She looked almost longingly at the necklaces as they fell into the burlap bags Mungo held open. And as soon as they were outside again, she said, "Les 'ave another look at 'em!"

Obligingly, Mungo held them up to the light of the street lamp, turning them about in his paws to get the full effect of the pretty sparkliness.

"They're lovely, ain't they?" murmured Rumpel, again wistfully with a dreamy smile. Then she sighed briefly and put them back into the sacks. "Not tha' they're any use t'anyone. Macavity mus' jus' keep 'em for the saike of it."

Mungo nodded. "Oi've 'eard 'e's got loads of 'em, all 'idden awaiy in boxes under tha' red armchair of 'is."

Rumpelteazer rolled her eyes. "'E sits on a red armchair? Oi swear, 'e thinks 'e's a flippin' king or summat! All them shiny things and naow a- a _throne_ for pity's saike!"

_'E certainly rules loike a king... King of the strays an' the streets- tha's quoite some kingdom. 'Ow can jus' one cat command our 'ole world?_

"You OK, Mungo? Yer very quoiet."

"Yeah, foine. Jus' thinkin'. Y'know, we should taike this stuff to Macavity."

"Naow? Can't it wait til tomorra?"

Mungo picked up a sack in his teeth and slung it over his shoulder. "It could, bu' Oi'd loike to get ridda this booty as soon as poss. We don' wanna be found with it."

"Good point." She shouldered the other sack and they headed down the street.

Mungo was aware that he had started walking slower and slower as they got nearer Macavity's headquarters. He was just about to ask Teazer if she would like to leave now when Augustus walked casually out from behind a dustbin.

"'Ey there, Jerrie. Still got that girl 'anging about with you, I see."

"Oi've got the jewels 'ere, 'Gustus," Mungo said pointedly, dumping his sack on the ground with a few dull clinks.

Augustus made no move to pick it up. "Come on an' bring 'em in then. Boss's inside." And as Mungo made to relieve Teazer of her sack, he added "an' bring the kit."

"But-"

Another cat had just climbed up the basement stairs.

"Not fighting I hope, are we?" asked Macavity smoothly, "Nice to see you again, Mungojerrie and I see you've brought the goods with you."

"Yessir," Mungo sighed.

"Come on in then. Both of you."

Macavity lead them to his audience chamber with the red armchair. Rumpelteazer caught Mungo's eye and mouthed "throne room!" as she flashed him a nervous smile. _Croipes_ he moaned to himself, _what 'ave Oi got 'er in for?_

"No need to look so worried," Macavity said smoothly. "Unless you've got something to hide?"

"'Ere. We got 'em necklaces you wanted," Mungo said as assertively as he could. He poured the strings of jewels onto the tiled floor.

Macavity inspected them carefully. "Good, good," he murmured, "No damage." Then he suddenly looked up and asked sharply, "We, Mungojerrie?"

"Yessir. Me an'- Me friend 'ere 'elped."

"What's her name?"

Mungo risked a quick apologetic glance back at Teazer who was staring fixedly at a bit of dirt on the wall. There was no point in lying. "Rumpelteaza," he said quietly.

"Rumpelteazer. Ah." Macavity seemed to consider the point carefully for a while. "She's not a member of the Paw is she?" It was hardly a question.

"Nossir."

"Right. And how long have you known her?"

"Coupla months. Sir."

"So, why hasn't she joined us, Mungojerrie?"

Mungo's ears twitched nervously. "Cos Oi didn' invoite 'er, an' Oi don' think she wants t'be."

"That's a little unorthodox. Hardly the usual procedure. You should really have come to me about her a long time ago since she's still with and helping you with jobs."

There was no way Mungo would dare to say that he _had_ in fact mentioned Teazer to Macavity, albeit not by name. But somehow, he dared to burst out with: "She's not gonna get mixed up in this, Macavity! You can't make 'er!"

A ginger eyebrow twitched briefly, then Macavity said softly, "Augustus? Show Rumpelteazer out. I would like a private word with Mungojerrie."

Augustus grabbed Rumpelteazer around the waist rather harder than was necessary. She shot Mungo a wry smile. "See ya..."

Mungojerrie looked at Macavity, who seemed to be once again deeply interested in the jewels.

_Oi'm for it now..._ Mungo thought. He tried to swallow, but almost choked.

Macavity placed the strand he was holding carefully back into the bag, jewel by jewel. "That was out of order. I have not been pleased with your recent behaviour, Mungojerrie. You've been withholding information and now you dare to argue with me."

It wasn't exactly something you could reply to, and Mungo wasn't sure he'd be able to speak anyway.

"I sincerely hope you are not considering any disobedience," Macavity continued, "I need hardly remind you how disobedience is punishable."

Mungo was still silent, but he scowled and stared up at the ginger cat above him as proudly as he could.

Macavity chuckled softly. "Very brave," he spat. "I've seen that look before. You're trying to convince me that nothing I could do to you would matter. But there's more than one way to skin a cat, as the saying goes..."

The fur on Mungo's back suddenly bristled as a feeling of terrifying apprehension trickled over him. Macavity was staring at him, smiling, and clearly enjoying every moment.

"That queen of yours Rumpelteazer..." He spoke musingly, turning a thoughtful gaze towards Mungo that chilled him with such a creeping, sickening cold that he couldn't even shudder. "She's a pretty little thing, isn't she?"

"No way, Macavity!" he yelled, shocked into speech, "You keep yer paws off 'er! If you dare _touch_ 'er, Oi'll -"

"Oil, oil" Macavity mimicked, his smile growing, "You'll _what_ , Mungojerrie?"

The young tom clamped his mouth shut, glaring at Macavity with hatred and

anger, finding nothing at all to say. Macavity laughed. It was painful, powerful laughter; hurting Mungo's ears and heart as he thought of Rumpelteazer's animated giggle.

When he stopped laughing, his voice was as cold as steel. "I don't want to warn you again, Mungojerrie. Don't cross me. You know what I could do."

Mungo could do nothing but continue to stare in helpless rage, breathing heavily. Finally he gritted his teeth and fled the room.

Macavity lay back in the armchair, examining his claws with an air of absolute satisfaction.

* * * * *

When Mungojerrie returned to his and Teazer's spot in the playground, he found her asleep, lying curled up as small as possible, but still very much exposed to the chill November night. She had never seemed to him so vulnerable or unprotected. He'd never really thought she was. But _'E better not try an' touch you, Teaza. Oi'll nevva let anyone 'urt you again. Nevva_. He walked towards her, feeling so suddenly tired and hopeless. What could he, what could anyone, do against Macavity?

The soft moonlight had stripped her of her bright, cheeky prettiness; sleep had stolen her defiantly cheery grin. And behind it all, underneath it- underneath she was beautiful. No matter that her coat was dull and tangled, that patches of the sunny orange and gold had been stained almost indelibly. No matter that the smooth white of her face was marred by countless small scratches and more dirt, that her whole body was painfully thin. Despite any of it, she was to him the most beautiful creature imaginable.

The harsh world's wrath had done its worst to her and she had come through- laughing at it all. Always smiling, always joking, always laughing and making him laugh too. Was it an act? Who for? But even now, herself, unmasked, she was still perfect. Battered and scorned and alone, but still somehow unspoilt. Always laughing Never _at_ anyone, never cruel or blaming. She never blamed anyone for her life, not even herself. Was it because- because she knew nothing better than what she herself had experienced? Had she no way to dream beyond her guttered and guttering life? Or was she dreaming and living her dream every day, feeling somehow that she was getting closer to something, that laughter would keep her dreaming safely?

Rumpelteazer. He slumped onto the ragged pillow beside her. _Rumpelteaza 'Eaviside, Oi dunno wha' Oi can do for ya. You deserve a jeweled collar, an' rich cream, an' a silky cushion an', an' all the pretty sparkly things you loike to laugh at an' dream about- An' all you've got- all Oi can give you is a crown o' autumn leaves an' rainwata an' a li'l laughta in return for yours._ He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. _Nothin's right 'ere, is it?_

Cautiously, as if afraid to touch her or to approach her unveiled beauty, but desperately drawn to her, he wrapped his paws about Rumpelteazer's small shoulders, needing to hold her, to protect her from- what? and just needing the comfort and warmth. Suddenly she stirred and her emerald eyes flickered open. Mungo immediately drew back.

'S'OK, Mungo," Rumpelteazer said quietly, "You can 'old me if ya want to."

He looked at her hard, trying to gage her feelings. "You sure?"

"Yeah. Yeah, felt noice."

She shut her eyes again and rubbed against him gently as he held her close once more, purring.

"Night, Mungo."

Mungojerrie smoothed the fur on Teazer's head, and inwardly laughed at everything. The sliver of a moon was pale and powerless and the stars could glare all they liked. The cold of the night could do nothing against the warmth they shared. For one moment at least, nothing could be better. Nothing could spoil it. Macavity, winter, humans; just now there was simply no place for them. For now, the whole world could be pushed away with two simple words: _no matter._

"G'night, Teaza."

* * * * *


	2. Chapter 2

It snowed the most a London December had seen in years.

"'Ere!" called Teazer, "Look a' this! Ain't it pretty? S'loike all them jewels, ain't it?"

Mungo ran over to her. She was holding a fragment of ice in one ragged paw. She giggled as she turned it over, pale sunlight splitting and shining in its irregular facets.

"Wha' is it?" he asked, looking at it too.

"Dunno... 's pretty, whatevva it is... Cold though!"

"Lemme 'old it!"

"Yer bein' bossy!" But she passed it to him, still grinning.

He shivered as he felt cold water trickling into his fur. "Yeah... it's all...shoiny... But wasn'it bigger a moment ago?" He turned over his paw in astonishment as the last of the ice melted away.

"'Sgone!" Rumpelteazer wrinkled her nose and stared, bewildered, at Mungo's empty paw. "Where'd the shoiny thing go?"

* * * * *

Winter is always a hard time for the homeless, cats included. Every day was colder and every night was worse. The world seemed out to get its revenge.

"Oi think it's teasin' us, y'know," Mungo said to Teazer on an as yet unsuccessful nocturnal scavenge in some dustbins, shivering every time a paw touched the cold metal.

"Wha' is?"

"It. Everythink. Oi don' think it loikes us, 'ooever it is. Oi mean, givin' us all them shoiny things tha' jus' melt awaiy the minute you try'n 'old onto 'em. An' - Ooh! Wouldya lookit-" Then he sighed and dropped the packet back into the bin. It was filled with used tea bags. "There it goes again! Just as Oi thought Oi was gettin' somethin' worthwhile..."

Teazer stopped her work for a moment and looked up to the sky, brow creased. "There's gotta be someone ou' there 'oo _does_ loike us." She picked up another empty bag and glared at it before dropping it again. "We're gonna need all the 'elp we can get from 'em."

"Well, we're only gonna get the 'elp we give each other, y'know. If there is anyone ou' there, they obviously don' care 'bout a coupla street cats loike us."

A banana skin hit him on the back of the head. "Oh, don' be such a pessimist, Mungo. Someone's there and they've gotta 'elp us sooner or later. We'll pull through some'ow." Then she swayed unsteadily for a second. "EhMungo"

She collapsed a moment later.

"Teaza? Teaz!"

Mungojerrie leapt to her and tried to shake her awake. She hardly seemed to weigh anything in his paws. Her head rolled easily from side to side and she wasn't smiling. Of course she wasn't. You don't smile when you're unconscious or asleep, no one dies with a gentle reassuring smile on their lips. Since when is there anything at all reassuring about it? _She's not_ He refused to finish even the thought. _It's just the cold and she's so thin She's not as strong as she maikes ou'. Oi jus' believe 'er_

 

If you believe her, then?

"Rumpelteaza!" he yelled, the sound getting no response in that haunted street, not even an echo. "Teaza, you- please jus'- Teaza!" There was nothing else to say.

If you believe her There's something else she believes, isn't there? _An' Oi guess Oi'm jus' scared._ But when no one else can hear you

"Please," Mungo whispered. "Oi dunno 'oo you are an' you prolly don't loike me, but Oi need yer 'elp all the 'elp Oi can get please Teaza believes yer ou' there and you acshly care 'bout us Please Lookit, Teaza deserves it even if Oi don'. She maiy be the only one in the 'ole stupid world. An'- Oi need 'er, more'n anythin'"

He didn't know what he'd been expecting, he hadn't been thinking very clearly anyway. But he felt a whisper of air on his fur and it wasn't a mystical wind sent down as a sign. Rumpelteazer was breathing. Her eyes were still shut and her mouth was slack, but she was breathing. Maybe she had been all along? _'Oo knows? Well maiybe someone does_

Teazer was alive. She was breathing. She just couldn't hear him. She- just couldn't hear him cry.

* * * * *

It was probably all of a minute later, but it seemed to Mungo that he had been keeping vigil over Rumpelteazer for hours. He'd laid his paw on her chest, feeling the comforting warmth as it rose and fell slightly.

He was staring out at the ending night, silently hoping- maybe even praying- and so he didn't notice when her eyes opened.

"Mungo?"

"Teaza! You're OK!"

"Yeah..." she murmured, standing up slowly, "Wha' 'appened?"

"Oi dunno... One moment you were up an' talkin' an' the next- you'd jus' collapsed."

"Oh, right... Croipes, Oi'm 'ungry!" There was a moment of silence, and the Teazer squeezed her eyes shut for a second in a brief movement that wasn't a blink. "We ain't got no food, 'ave we?"

"Nope."

Another pause.

"Are you alrigh' now?" asked Mungo, holding his paws protectively around Teazer as if he thought she might fall down again at any second.

"Yeah, Oi'm foine. Feel a bit sick, but maiybe tha's jus' me tummy tellin' me somethin'..." she smiled, a little less brightly than usual.

"We 'ave t'get somethin' to eat... we can' jus' keep goin' loike this," muttered Mungo, half to himself, looking around for any food that might suddenly present itself from the pavement.

"Oi suppose..." said Teazer slowly, "Oi suppose we could always try pinchin' some direct from an 'ouse around 'ere."

"Wha'? Naow? 'S nearly dawn, they'll be 'umans abou' soon!"

The their eyes met as their minds both latched onto the same idea.

"Whoi not wait til mornin'?" asked Teazer, "They'll be 'umans abou', loike ya said..."

Mungo grinned at her. "An' we know 'ow to 'andle 'umans, don' we?"

* * * * *

"Well aren't they just _darlings!_ " exclaimed the plump human woman, staring in adoration at the two yawning kittens lying on the doormat. "Are they girls or boys do you think?"

A grinning, gangling giant of a teenage boy appeared in the doorway behind them. "Only one way to find out!" And with that, ignoring their indignant mews, he picked up one of the kittens in each of his large hands.

"Jonathon!" shrieked the woman, as, most indelicately, he turned them upside down.

"Sorry, aunty," he laughed, holding the two now at arm's length to avoid Mungo's sharp little claws, "But how else are we supposed to check?"

"Well?" asked a girl, craning her neck over the woman's shoulder to get a look.

He tried to examine the struggling cats. "Um... a boy... and a girl. D'you think they're mates?" He carried them inside the house and at last set them down on a thick pink carpet.

"They gonna feed us yet?" hissed Mungo, "Oi think my bein' sweet skills 'ave really been stretched 'ere!"

"Maybe..." mused the girl, "they look a bit little, or at least that one does. Which one's that?"

"The girl, Ali," he sighed in a tone of stating the absolute obvious.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer could hardly believe their luck.

After a brief discussion among the family members, the two of them seemed to have been _adopted_ unconditionally- and provided immediately with a dish of cream each. They went on a whirlwind tour of their new house, resolving not to cause any disruptions by giving into the temptations of the _very_ promising looking precariously placed ornaments and jars of shiny wrapped sweeties - yet.

"Can you _believe_ it, Mungo? We got 'umans!"

They were lying in a laundry basket packed with blankets and cushions and placed inside the circle of warmth from the open fire. The whole human family was gathered in the sitting room; the children Jonathon and Alison playing chess on the floor, the man who had at first been amazed and somewhat appalled to find two stray cats in his house, but then, succumbing to Teazer's "sweet" act had consented to let them stay "on the condition they behave" sitting on the settee, nodding over a pile of papers, his wife beside him sipping tea and writing a letter, and dear plump Aunty Lucy knitting what was already clearly some sort of cat blanket.

Mungo shook his head and stared about him for the thousandth time. They had been hoping for a bit of sympathy and fish, but this was- no, he could hardly believe it at all.

"Oi reckon you might 'ave been righ', y'know," he said slowly.

"Wha'? 'Bout wha'?"

"'Bout there bein' someone 'oo care's somewhere."

"Well," grinned Teazer, "we seem to 'ave found a 'ole family of 'em right 'ere."

"Yeah... but Oi meant someone, y'know-" he gestured vaguely at the window, "sorta... up there..."

"Oi know whatcha mean, Mungo. An' we owe 'em a big thank you, don' we? So, um," she looked out of the window to, "thanks very, very much!"

Mungo nodded his agreement. A simple gesture, but it was ferverent prayer of thanksgiving. _Thank you fer everythin'._ They were both quiet for a few more seconds. Then Teazer fidgeted with the blanket, looking a bit embarressed.

"Those 'umans are very sweet, ain't they. They're a bit dim though..." Rumpelteazer's grin erupted into a giggle again, "Oi mean- they 'ad to _check_ t'see if we was girls or boys!"

"Tha' wasn't funny! Tha' was jus' plain rude!" But Mungo was laughing anyway. A little hesitantly, he rubbed his head on her shoulder and she responded immediately by licking his face.

"They do seem quite enamoured of each other, don't they?" said the human mother with affection.

"Don't they just, the poor sweet poppets! All they had in the world was each other, see how thin they are? We'll have to feed them and look after them to make up for their tragic past...." she shook her head dramatically and the rest of the family exchanged glances. _There Aunty Lucy goes on another of her romantic trips...._

 

"We should give them nice names. What do you think?" The mother addressed the company in general.

"How about Romeo and Juliet?" suggested Aunty Lucy, lying back in her armchair with a dreamy countenance.

"Boooring!" intoned Jonathon, "Let's call 'em Holmes and Watson!"

Alison cuffed him lightly with the white bishop she was holding. "You can't call a girl Holmes or Watson!"

Jonathon glared at his sister. "Hmmm, guess not. OK, OK... have soppy Romeo and Juliet. But what if they're brother and sister and not mates?"

"They could be both," the mother said lightly.

"Eeew!" squealed Alison.

"They are _cats_ , Ali."

"If it makes you feel any better," said the man on the settee, not glancing up from his papers, "they're probably not siblings."

"Ask the scientist of course; should have known!" His wife rolled her eyes and smiled.

"So is that settled? Romeo and Juliet it is!" Aunty Lucy clapped her hands together with as much joy as if she had found a long lost child.

"Mungo...?" asked Rumpelteazer sleepily, "Wha's in'ammered mean?"

* * * * *

Over the next week, the pair settled in, as they thought, very well. The family were endlessly tolerant of their pranks, indeed, Jonathon encouraged them and would purposely leave other people's doors open for their convenience, and consequently any reprimand that was to be had was generally bestowed on him.

The funny thing was the difficulty the humans had in telling them apart when they were moving at speed to escape from the room where, for example, despite their best attempts to right it, a potted plant had been reduced to a couple jagged pieces of terracotta, some mud, and a funny dirty green thing lying halfway across the floor. At times like these, Romeo and Juliet hardly seemed fit names to yell at them- most often, the family resorted to the hopefully affectionately meant "That horrible cat!"

"Stealing" from the family was very fun indeed. Aunty Lucy's door opened into an absolute Aladdin's cave of shiny things- gold chains, diamond earrings, jewelled brooches, gem studded hatpins... and such an abundance of strings of pearls that they were sure she would hardly miss _one..._

 

* * * * *

But during that next week of course, Mungojerrie was obliged to report to Macavity again.  It felt even worse than usual.  It felt like an intrusion into the safe, kind world they had just found.  Macavity and his headquarters and the constant watching your back; the "tough" strays and the spies and the lies and the dangerous glances between untrusting allies; the smell and the laughter and the pain because a kitten is always the easiest to hurt It all should have been left behind on the streets with the other lost memories.

He woke up from a mid morning nap feeling physically sick.  _Oi don' want to go..._ But Macavity had his insurance, of course.  He looked at Rumpelteazer, still sleeping next to him.  _'E wouldn't dare... But 'e's Macavity..._ She had her paw looped carelessly through the string of pearls she'd taken to wearing and looked completely at peace, and completely perfect.  She'd even put on a little weight in their time with the humans and her ribs were gradually fading beneath a coat that was considerably more healthy and clean.  Not laughing now of course, but if he could possibly make sure that she always could, then he knew he'd have to.  He stood up and untangled his claws from the wooly cat blanket, trying not to disturb Teazer.  He walked out of the house with his dizzy head as high as he could hold it and his tail poised.  He was going back, and he was going to show them he was not scared.

Little could have been further from the truth of course, but he reckoned the resolve was a good start.

* * * * *

Teazer was awake when he returned and delicately finishing off her bowl of an odd brown mixture.  She looked up at him as he nudged the door ajar.

"Reportin' to Macavity," he sighed.

"By yerself?"

"Wha' d'ya think?" he raised his eyebrows, "Cats over there aren't exac'ly fallin' over themselves to be noice an' friendly, are they?"

"Oi meant Oi coulda come if you wanted."

"Yeah, Oi know..." he trailed off a bit lamely.

"-but yer scared for me too?  Y'know nothin' acshly _'appened_ las' toime."

"No..."

"Did it?  Wha' 'bout after Oi'd gone?  Rememba no secrets!"  Her voice was light, almost teasing but in spite of that- or maybe because of that he knew that she was being perfectly serious.

"Baisically, 'e jus' tol' me off 'bout answerin' 'im back an'- baisically, we could both get in a lot of trouble if we ain't noice to 'im."

"Roight." Teazer frowned and nodded.  Then she said, "so wha' 'appened t'daiy?"

"Nothin'..."  Nothing worth the telling really, at least.  Just a request for jewels within the fortnight if it's not _too_ much trouble, Mungojerrie- and a subtle reminder of the potential penalty.

"Nothin'?"

"Well nothin' of any importance."

"Tha' much is prob'ly true!"  Then Rumpelteazer shook her head and laughed.  "'S not important is it? Oi can't believe we're waisting so much toime talkin' 'bout 'Is 'Ighness!" she said, giggling as she used her favourite nickname.

Mungo appreciated her effort to cheer him up, and it was almost working... 

"But yer broodin' bout 'im still, ain't ya?"

"Guess so..." Mungo batted aimlessly at a pink rubber object; a human interpretation of a mouse. Then he swung at it fiercely, sending it bouncing off the papered wall. "Oh, whoi doesn' 'e jus' do us all a faivour an' get 'imself killed by somethin'?!" he burst out, "Whoi won' 'e go awaiy?"

Teazer gave him a dramatic shrug. "'Oo knows?" Then she grinned and knocked the rubber toy back at him. "Watch ou'!"

Mungo clearly wasn't; it hit him on the shoulder. Rumpelteazer could not suppress a giggle. "Oopseedaisy! Er... sorry 'bout tha'..." She nuzzled him. "Don' worry 'bout tha' royal idiot. 'E ain't worth it. Wanna come for a walk? Take yer moind off things."

"Yeah... maiybe we could- pick up a few things on the way back?"

"Good oidea... What d'you think of a li'l veil t'go with me pearls?"

She struck a pose, and, laughing, the two took their leave of Victoria Grove for the afternoon.

They were not heading anywhere in particular. After turning several new corners, Mungo sniffed the air, trying to place the sense of -something- he was getting.

"D'you reckon..." murmured Teazer, looking about her in confusion, "...this waiy, maiybe?"

"Yeah... that sound's righ'..."

"Oi'll race ya."

"Where're we goin'?"

"Oi'm not entirely sure..." Her giggle lingered in the air behind her as she sped off.

A few minutes' hard running later, and Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer entered the Jellicle Junkyard...

"Will ya look at this!" breathed Mungo.

They started walking slowly forward. "Wha' is this plaice anyway...?"

"Halt!" someone yelled, "Who goes where?"

Mungo and Teazer looked at each other in slight puzzlement for a second. Mungo was beginning to reply:

"Er..."

-when another voice cut across his.

"You're stupid, Pounce! It's Who goes _there?_ silly. Where else could they be but here in the Jellicle junkyard?"

"Did you just call me stupid? Right, that's it!"

"Oooh, getting moody are we now-oof!"

There was then a series of strange noises: mews, yowls, the occasional hiss, the more frequent laugh... The two new arrivals walked curiously around the other side of a large cardboard box and quickly discovered the origin of these noises. Two kittens were rolling around on the ground; fighting, Mungo observed, in the way you fight when you have no idea how to and even less experience. Seeing how small and young they were made Mungo realise how small and young he and Teazer _weren't_ really anymore _._ He felt something like a pang of regret.

"'Scuse me?!" yelled Rumpelteazer over the clamour, "Only we're tryin' t'get through 'ere!"

The two kittens leapt to their feet and turned to face the newcomers.

"You idiot, Tumble! You nearly let 'em get away!"

" _I_ did?? _You_ were the one who-"

"Um- please- jus', um shut up for a minute-" began Mungo, sensing they were ready to attack each other again. Rumpelteazer was not being very helpful, she was just clutching her stomach and laughing helplessly.

"Hey! What you laughing at?"

"Nothin', nothin'... Is this the - Jellicle junkyard?"

"Erm... maybe!" said the cat called Pounce, exchanging a sly glance with his partner.

Mungo sighed. Teazer giggled.

"Are you Jellicles?" asked Pounce, sniffing their coats curiously.

"No oidea."

"Well then..." began Tumble, pacing around them in a slow circle, "What exactly do you want here?"

Mungo couldn't stop his laughter this time and soon he and Teazer had collapsed on the ground, shaking and squealing with mirth.

Pouncival and Tumblebrutus, the two kittens, stared at them for a moment in studied bewilderment.

Then: "Um... MUNKUSTRAP!!! WE'VE GOT A COUPLE OF MAD LAUGHING KITTIES INVADING THE JUNKYARD!!!"

Mungojerrie recovered in time to see a tall grey and black tom arrive and look him over.

"Well Pounce..." he said, "You were right about mad and laughing, but they don't seem to be exactly invading, do they? In fact they look fairly harmless."

"'Ey!" yelled Rumpelteazer, "'Oo you callin' 'armless?"

A crowd had begun to gather.

"What atrocious accents!" muttered a plump marmalade queen, but in a piercing voice that everyone heard.

"'Ey!" yelled Teazer again.

"Don't mind Jenny." said the grey tabby, rolling his eyes. "She just- likes to be proper. Anyway, what are your names?"

Teazer brightened at this. "Oh we got lotsa naimes, don't we Mungo? We're called Mungojerrie an' Rumpelteaza - Oi'm Rumpelteaza boi the way- an' we're Romeow an' Juliet... taike yer pick!"

Mungo felt somewhat annoyed at being cheated of his own introduction, but was slightly more irritated and confused at the bursts of laughter from some of the older cats. Fortunately, Pounce and Tumble looked as confused as they were.

"Wha'?" asked Mungo.

Munkustrap sobered. "It's just... you seem a most unlikely Romeo and Juliet, if you'll pardon me."

"Wha'?" Mungo's strategy in thorough confusion was to at least be honest about it.

"Do you know the story of Romeo and Juliet?"

"Wha'? There's a story 'bout us?"

"Er... sort of. Maybe you should hear it someday..."

"Maiybe," said Teazer, trying to steer the conversation back to important matters. "What we was wondrin' is, well, first of all: "oo are you lot anyway, and second of all: wha's all this 'bout Jellicles and are we them?"

The grey tabby grinned. "That was certainly refreshingly direct! Forgive us, we're forgetting our manners. Introductions first. I'm Munkustrap and this is the Jellicle tribe."

"Noice to meet ya."

A black cat with leopard patches pushed himself forward. "Hi, Juliet." he said with easy familiarity, "I'm the Rum Tum Tugger. If you're looking for a new Romeo one of these days, I know just the cat."

Rumpelteazer bobbed her head politely. "Noice to meet you too."

This was clearly not the expected reaction. The Rum Tum Tugger's mouth dropped open unflatteringly and he looked rather put out. Munkustrap, on the other hand, was suddenly overtaken by an explosion of laughter to rival Teazer's own. Mungo watched with interest as the leopard cat moved sulkily back into the throng where he was immediately consoled by a couple very relieved looking young queens.

Teazer giggled. "Somethin' Oi said?" she asked impishly.

Munkustrap composed himself with some obvious difficulty. "Ahem. Anyway, we are all Jellicles. How did you get here, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Erm.. we koinda... wandered in some'ow..."

Munkustrap nodded knowingly. "That sounds about right. Jellicles are... well, if you stick around long enough, I dare say you'll find out. The Ball's coming up soon."

 _Jellicles are what? Ball?_ Mungo's mind was swimming in questions still, but he focused on what seemed to be the important point. "If we stick around long 'nough? That mean we can be Jellicles too?"

Munkustrap smiled at the younger tom. " _All_ cats are Jellicles- er, fundamentally there are a few, er, renegades you could say, who..." He saw from the look on Mungo's face that both the content and vocabulary of the fractured sentence was soaring way over his head so he gave up. "Yeah. Come along to the junkyard here whenever, I'll be around if you want to ask anything...."

"Because I'm Mr Perfect Jellicle Munkustrap..." came a falsetto voice from somewhere in the crowd.

Munkustrap groaned. "Someone hit Tugger for me," he growled, then rushed to his conclusion. "Just behave yourselves and all, don't go killing anyone - except the lovely _Tugger_ there- and you'll be fine."

* * * * *

It was quite a culture shock. In the junkyard, when someone smiled, it usually meant they were happy. There was no one ready to beat you up if you gave the "wrong" answer. Teasing, flirting and laughing were actually fun.

Mungojerrie was just thinking about how nice it all was really, and casually eying a white kitten's sparkling collar, when:

"Mungo?" asked Teazer, in her most serious "Oi've got an important question" voice.

"Yeah?"

"You gonna tell Munkustrap and them abou' Macavity?"

So that was it. He couldn't deny it was important. He scowled at the name. "Oi s'ppose Oi should really, shouldna Oi?"

"Yeah."

"It's jus' that Oi _know_ they're not gonna be exac'ly pleased"

"Prolly not." She paused. Then she said brightly, "Y'know, Oi think you should jus' quit this 'ole Macavity thing."

"Oh, Teaz Y'know Oi can' do that!

"An' whoi not?"

"Cos 'e'll kill me, tha's whoi!" _Not to mention wha' 'e could do t'you._

"Ah," said Teazer, with a grin, "Tha's where we've got a li'l advantage. 'E can't do anythin' to any Jellicle withou' expectin' to 'ave the 'ole triobe on 'is tail."

Mungo sighed. "But if Oi tell 'em, Oi moight not _be_ a Jellicle fer much longer!"

"Ya think they'll chuck you ou' or summat?"

"Mos' loikely"

"They won't. No' if ya _do_ give it up with Macavity.  An' maiybe it's toime to taike a stand anywaiys."

Mungojerrie hadn't really listened to the last sentence, admirable though it was.  He was just wondering about Teazer certainty on the first point.  "Wait a mo'!" he said,  "'Ow d'you know they're not gonna chuck me ou'?"

"'Cos Oi asked Munkustrap yesterday."

" _Wha'?_ "

* * * * *

What with warm fires and good food at Victoria Grove, and warm company and good friends forming at the Jellicle junkyard, Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer were finding the rest of the winter practically perfect. Mungojerrie had officially left the Hidden Paw. That is, he'd made the decision and was now staying as far away from Macavity and his gang as possible. There was no way anycat in their right mind would go up to Macavity and hand in a resignation notice. He's been more than a little surprised at how easily Munkustrap had accepted him still, and had told him so. Surely this way it would be easy for a spy to infiltrate? But after a few words and some consideration, he'd realised that any spies wouldn't be able to spy for long. Among the tribe were at least three magical cats. It also appeared that, when pressed, even the Jellicles could turn out rather less than pleasant.

And it was working quite well. _'Oo'd 'ave thought it'd be tha' simple afta all? Everythin's suddenly turnin' ou' OK_ The underlying threat of Macavity obviously still bothered him- although recently, something else had seemed far more important....

* * * * *

"Something the matter, Mungo?" Munkustrap looked curiously at the other cat who was walking around and around in awkward circles and had been doing so for the last half hour.

"Nuh? Mmm..."

"Er... Mungo?"

Mungojerrie jumped and shook himself. "Wha'? Wha' was that?"

"I _said_ : is there something the matter?"

"Oh...Well..."

Munkustrap sat down and made himself comfortable.

"Well... the thing is..."

Another pause.

"It's... it's Rumpelteaza."

"What about Rumpelteazer?" Munkustrap prompted helpfully.

"Oi think Oi love 'er." He spoke very fast, looking down. "An' Oi'd loike 'er to be my mate."

"You _think_?"

"Oi do, then."

"I mean, anyone would think you're already mates- the way you act together, and- everything..."

"Oi know... we've always been - close, but we nevva _said_ anythin'.... You think she moight love me too?" Mungo dared to look up at the grey tabby, eyes filled with an almost comical excitement.

Munkustrap grinned. "Sorry to sound so cliché, but there's only one way to find out."

"Guess so... But 'ow'm Oi supposed to ask 'er?"

"Well... the Jellicle Ball's coming up. That's as good a time as any, better than most, I'd say. Just- tell her how you feel, simple as that really."

"Yeah. Yeah... shouldn't be too 'ard..." He raised his eyebrows. "Whoi's it so scary, Munk?"

Munkustrap shrugged and grinned at him with all the wisdom of nearly three years. "Who knows? Well... good luck then."

Mungo walked off.

"You should take some of your own advice, Munkustrap." Old Deuteronomy's voice caused Munkustrap to spin round in astonishment.

"Where did you come from?"

"My home, where else? And I've been around for a couple days. I thought I'd arrive a bit early for the Ball to see how things are going. And from what I've seen, you should take some of your own advice!"

"What - what d'you mean?"

A grin wrinkled the old furred face. "You know what I mean. It's high time you and Demeter acknowledged each other's presence!"

"I know, I know.... I'd really like to talk to her some more... but..." he trailed off, and concentrated hard on the ground near his paws.

"You never struck me as a scaredy-cat, Munkustrap."

"Hey!"

* * * * *

The Ball had arrived. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer were as much as anything else curious to find out just what all the fuss was about. None of the other cats had talked of much else for weeks. Mungo had gathered it comprised a lot of dancing, singing, opportunities to show off... including a so called "Mating Dance"! He had also been informed that this was not always taken absolutely seriously, especially by the young kittens. But the problem was that he would very much _like_ to be serious about it- as long as his mate could be Rumpelteazer, and in spite of Munkustrap's excellent advice, he was still scared stiff.

Rumpelteazer was playing with the kittens Electra and Jemima. It was really strange how friendly everyone was here...

The night drifted into the junkyard very slowly, as if it delighted in the suspense it was creating. It was many of the kittens' first ball as well and Pounce and Tumble in particular were not very good at hiding their impatience.

"Munku _strap..._ Is it time yet?"

The grey tabby raised his eyes to the Heaviside, and Mungo tackled Teazer to stop her from bursting into another giggle. " _No,_ Tumble. When the Jellicle moon rises, _remember_?"

"Oh yeah..." Tumblebruts sighed and began to extend and retract his claws with an expression of painful boredom.

A grinning Pounce walked up behind him.

"Munku _strap..._ Is it time yet?"

Munkustrap took a deep breath as the last of his fraught nerves stretched to breaking point. He didn't say anything.

Mungojerrie would really have liked to intercede on the tabby's behalf, _really_ he would have- but he was laughing to hard to say anything at all. Beside him, Teazer managed between giggles:

"Munku _strap_ Oi was wondrin' Is it toime yet?"

"Oh Cat, not you two aswell?!" moaned the now desperate Munkustrap. "Does this whole tribe delight in torturing me?" With a final groan, he turned and departed as fast as he could, presumably to find someone else to be tortured by.

All in all, it was a great relief for everyone when Munkustrap finally took another deep breath and started to sing:

"Are you blind when you're born?"

Then the moonlight took over. Mungo felt a fantastic force lift him as he danced and sang things he had no memory of learning and Rumpelteazer was, if possible, even more energetic and elated than usual.

As the dancers retreated leaving only Victoria alone in the centre of the junkyard, Mungo tried very hard to steel himself for the terrifying task ahead.

_OK. Tell 'er now! Three....two....one..._

"Teazer-" "Mungo-" they said at the same time.

 _Oh 'Eaviside_ he thought. _This could be the most perfect and RIDICULOUS_ _coincidence in the 'ole world, and Oi'll probably just chicken out naow_

 

"You first." Teazer spoke firmly, but it seemed her eyes showed more nervousness than usual.

"OK No- you first." _Chickened out already..._

 

"Me first?" asked Teazer.

"Yeah."

"No."

"'Ave you got something important t'say?".

"Um, yeah. You too?"

"Yeah."

"Then 'ow bout we saiy it t'gether?" she suggested brightly.

"OK..."

"Or we could not bother _saiyin'_ it a' all."

He shrugged. "Either waiy."

"Oi sure 'ope we're talkin' 'bout the saime thing," Teazer's eyes glimmered as they flicked about nervously.

"So do Oi," he agreed, ferverently. If not, this could be very embarrassing...

"Maiybe we 'ad better saiy it, t'be sure."

"Ya think so?"

"Maiybe. You scared?"

"Terrified."

Rumpelteazer collapsed into nervous giggles.

"Gimme a hug, Teaz, an' Oi'll tell ya."

"You will?"

"Prob'ly not..." he admitted.

"Oi'll give ya a hug anywaiy. Now you gonna tell me?"

"'S not supposed t'be this confusin', is it?" he mumbled into her fur.

"Oi dunno..." she whispered back, "But since when 'ave things been exac'ly simple for us?"

Mungo grinned. "Since nevva. OK..."

"Oi think Oi'm just 'bout ready to tell you first if you'd rather."

"Nah... Oi'll do it. Got me proide!"

"Go on, then." She batted his ears playfully and then nuzzled against his chest.

"Oi love ya Teaza."

He could feel her smile. "Oi was 'opin' you'd saiy that," she murmured. "Oh yeah, Oi was just gonna saiy Oi love ya too."

They held each other for a few moments in silence before Teazer said: "Y'know somethin'? We jus' missed Vicki's dance. She's been practicin' fer weeks."

"'Oo cares? We can always see it later."

Soon, it was time for their grand entrance and introduction. Munkustrap had told them to prepare something, although perhaps being heralded by a large and scary crash was not what he'd really had in mind... The noise sent most of the other cats scattering- it was quite funny really. And when Demeter mistakenly screamed "MACAVITY!", Mungo was unable to feel any more remorse than "Oops..."

Teazer giggled. Mungo made a very loud "Shhh!" which she for some reason found even funnier... And their dance began.

* * * * *

It was nearly dawn.

 _Seems t'be everyone's lucky daiy t'daiy..._ thought Mungo, watching Grizabella ascend the shining path to the Heaviside Layer. Finally accepted and now happy forever. Everyone had had the time of their lives. Old Deuteronomy was safe. Demeter was safe. Demeter and Munkustrap were together at last.

_Thank you_

And... He had told her. After that, nothing else seemed to matter. Not even the brief entrance of Macavity had been enough to put a damper on his spirits for long. Although, quite honestly, that had been very, very scary... Macavity had just looked at him for a second " _Traitor._ " And then Mungo had scratched him across the nose.

It didn't matter.

Macavity was just not important! Mungojerrie was a Jellicle now. And once again, at least for the moment, everything was perfect.

His reverie was cut short as a speeding force from behind almost knocked him flat. Rumpelteazer vaulted over him and spun round, grinning broadly. He grinned back and hugged her fiercely.

"Yer mad, Teaza!" he whispered, tickling her chin.

"Oi know!" she squealed happily.

She giggled and skipped away from him, inviting him to chase her. With a burst of speed, he caught up and grabbed her paws. Together they spun giddily around and around before collapsing into a pile of splotchy mismatched fur. Oblivious to anything else, each cat cherished the other's intoxicating presence; tumbling and embracing and laughing into each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written in 2001-2 and archived here in 2018 in case of accidents ^.^
> 
> Comments and reaction are still welcome, on all of these, but this is one of the ones in particular where I would plead it was a Very Long Time ago!


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